Dating Advice

Get Your Flirt On
with Daniel Packard, Dating Expert & Coach


I am amazed how non-flirty, almost asexual online dating profiles tend to be. Women know a little bit of sexiness is a great way to get a guy's ears to perk up. But profile after profile reads like a Mormon singles ad. Women wear make-up in their pictures, which is a visual sexual advertisement, so why not a verbal sexual advertisement. Just a little “Hey fellas over here.” A subtle “Hey if you get it right, sexy fun is just around the corner.” I’m not saying the ads should read “Hey guys, who’s into the Horizontal Mambo?” (which is very painful by the way). But I’ve noticed that women are generally sexual creatures yet the amount of sexiness in the profiles is suspiciously low.

So being the good little explorer that I am, I did my research. I asked a number of women how come there is not a single flirty sentence in their whole profile. Over and over I heard something to the effect of “Guys are bombarding me with sexual requests as is, I don’t want to do anything to get even more.”

Now on the surface that may seem like a sound strategy, but I’ve noticed over the years that when it comes to being irritated by male horniness, women have a tendency to exaggerate how bad it is. They make fear based assumptions, but never really test it out. And then let those assumptions limit them from so many possibilities.

So being the good social explorer that I am, I set out to test the theory that if you are flirtatious with men, you will be extra-bombarded by unwanted male sexual attention.

I spoke to a women with cute, nice pictures, but conservative dress and conservative profile. Very sweet, very Christian. Jesus would have been proud. Bored, but proud. I asked why her profile didn’t mention anything flirty. She said, she gets bombarded by rude sexual comments and didn’t want to encourage it. I asked how often does this happen? She said “All the time, guys are just looking for one thing.”

NOTE: Rule of thumb in this business, anytime somebody says words like “all” you probably want to dig a bit deeper. So I asked, out of ten responses how many blast her with “Hey baby wanna bang?” She paused, counted in her head and said “Umm maybe one out of ten. Exactly, one out of ten. Now I realize one out of ten is still maybe annoying to her, but she amped up the negativity, made it “all” and now eliminates a major way to get men to at least say hello, based on something she made up.

Remember, the nice guy and horny guy are the same guy. So if you are going to put your walls up, make damn sure they are at least justified or you are keeping out the nice guys in the process.

I then took another data set and wrote to a women who’s profile pic was a polka dot bikini, hoisting skyward her velvety sweet orbs of fleshy deliciousness. In addition to her one women flesh parade, her profile tag line was “Liquor in the front. Poker in the rear.” I thought it was a joke at first, but no irony. She meant it, bless her soul.

So I asked her how much hyper-penile-posturing she gets.

Now remember, Little Miss House On The Prairie received one out of ten. So guess what Ms. Poker In The Rear 2008 had to endure. Guess what onslaught of phallic flogging she had to put up with? A staggering, soul crushing, one out of ten.

And amazingly she never mentioned any words like “bombarded.” She said “boys are visual. It’s a visual medium. What do you expect? If somebody is offended by that, they are just naïve and insecure.”

I get so turned on by women that own their sexuality, I can’t even tell you.

But wait... the science continues.

I then spoke to a women at a dinner party. She was complaining about, you guessed it, being “bombarded.” I said “Well you know, when you put up a picture one in ten guys is going to respond that way. And to my surprise she said “Oh no, this is without a picture.” She said “The second you put the letter F next to gender, boom, you're getting mauled.”

When I asked what “mauled” meant. You guessed it, one out of ten.

And while we are on the topic…Men? Seriously. Why? I get it, I get horny too, but “I want to be on you” doesn’t work and it just puts the woman’s walls up higher. Unless you are highly skilled “Wanna Get Nekkid?” hasn’t worked since camp, and that was only because it was truth or dare.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen. School marm, breast model, blank box. If there are girls around, 1 in 10 men on the Internet will act fourteen and do the adult version of snapping a women’s bra strap.

Annoying? Perhaps. But also kind of freeing knowing that you can be as sexy and open and warm and flirty as you want and it won’t unleash the extras from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”.

So get out there, be fearless and open, and enjoy the power and fun of being a sexy women.

Good Luck Dating Better!

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